Long distance relationships. Just the expression is boring. Whereas phrases such as ‘fling’, ‘affair’, and ‘casual’ are by far more exciting in this day and age. Making effort is for when you’re older, when you’re on your third mortgage and have eight kids; when there’s actually something serious you need to make the effort for. When you’re young, you’re at your peak; surely this is the ultimate time to be carefree, independent, and, above all, selfish – and the only time in fact, that this will not be frowned upon by your peers.
The Potential for Success
So yes, it’s a lot to ask; a lot of effort at an age where everything in our nature (and our burning loins) goes against committing to someone we can’t even see that often. Yet ending a relationship with someone you care about just because they live ‘too far’ is not a legitimate reason for running scared, before you’ve even attempted to make it work.
Obviously, it’d be a struggle: there may be insecurities, there will undeniably be the occasional fight, and your sex life might not be as active as you’d like it to be. But aren’t these issues often relevant to short distance couples too?
Nauseatingly soppy websites for LDR couples are abundant with quotes such as:
"Distance means so little when someone means so much."
"True love doesn't mean being inseparable; it means being separated and nothing changes."
Excuse me while I chunder into the nearest bin. Although, despite being sinfully cheesy, they do have a point: as long as you don’t let the distance allow you both to drift emotionally, there is no reason why a long distance relationship can’t be a success. Why skip to instant break up, opting to be miserable and alone, just because the person you want moves further away?
Blitzing the Stigma
Despite the negative stigma of a quick, brutal, inevitable ending, there are still many dedicated long distance couples that prove society wrong, beating the odds through sheer determination to make it work. Therefore, maybe we should readjust the focus of our scepticism: instead of scoffing at those who try, automatically dooming them to failure, we should instead wonder why some couples instantly split when faced with this challenge of distance.
At the risk of sounding disgustingly cliché, if someone is truly important, you would try to do everything you can to stay with them, even during times of change and physical separation. If it still fails, then so be it. But at least you know you tried.