Now carry on getting crap faced; take a long sip of whatever it is that you’re drinking, in fact, get yourself a stiff drink, down it, and take a moment to contemplate what is going on here. How many of you will be in church this Sunday morning? Praying? None. Instead, you will be most likely nursing a hangover and feeling like your brain is dribbling out of your ears and nostrils while communicating with friends on social networking sites.
God does not answer kneemail and if He does, He’s bloody slow, not a patch on His digital rival, the internet. We have reached a time in human existence of which the concept of God, who has quite frankly been critically ill for some time, has finally been replaced by the digital ether of the World Wide Web.
‘Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic’
The internet provides magic for many people beyond that which an eternity of false promises has from God. If God did exist, then surely an entity of His magnitude and aptitude would be able to infiltrate the internet and communicate with His estranged children. But no, He doesn’t seem to do this. There is no God on Facebook or Twitter. If God did have a social networking profile, his status updates would probably sound a little bit like this;
‘Just had a ham sandwich, it was lovely. After deserting mankind I took up the hobby of meddling in cosmic events but it’s getting a bit boring now. I’m going to get drunk as f*** for seven days and see what crazy s*** I conjure up this time. Lol’
Without a Facebook profile or Twitter address, God isn’t going to be communicating with anybody.
Christian Mingle is another one. Their slogan is ‘God’s match for you!’ God is apparently using online dating to get people together now. God in cyberspace seems to be the favoured marketing tool for the stagnant Church of England. There is a new entity to be worshipped and it is the digital god that is cyberspace. God didn’t stay on top of His ‘kneemail’ and mankind has replaced Him.
Our conscience as a child might have been ruled by the concept of being watched over by a higher entity. Now it is CCTV. God's children have evolved and divorced their father. Ironically, religion is attempting to evolve in conjunction with that which is deemed popular.
However religion is contradicted by evolution. God is extinct and digital media is smoking His ashes. And getting really high.