Procrastinate...

Written by 

 - By CJ


We all know the feeling of having work to do, the feeling that makes you started browsing your phonebook and flicking through TV channels.  It’s that time of year again and Leeds is undergoing the highest levels of Procrastination since January the 2nd!

 

Procrastination has been crippling the world’s productivity since the first caveman started drawing on walls to avoid chasing down a Mammoth for dinner. In many cases people will not only indulge un-enjoyable activities, but will often do something that is seriously detrimental to their wellbeing.  The question I'm asking today is just how far will people go to avoid doing their work at this time of year?

 

 

The first person I interviewed about this is a 20 year old girl from Leeds Uni. I asked her one thing she does to avoid getting work done and she quietly explained how her favourite pass time when there is revision to be done is she just chopping at her hair with a pair of kitchen scissors to see if she can create a new style, the result, a wonky bowl cut and pizza sauce on her face every time.

 

CJ's Tips: Do not cut your own hair as an alternative to work, you will regret it.

 

The next person I spoke to was a second year lad from Leeds Met.  He told me about his irrational behavioral routines that occur as soon as he realises that there is work to be done. 'I will sit down to watch some TV with my breakfast, I'm always very careful to make sure I watch something I hate to make sure I don’t get sucked in.  I just wish I’d watch something I enjoy because I lose hours at a time watching some s*** like darts for 6 or 7 hours straight. As long as I’m not enjoying what I’m watching then I feel like at any moment I could stop and go start work but I never do.’

 

Tips: I would recommend this over cutting your own hair but TV is your enemy, you would watch a channel of adverts before you would start work. It’s not that you’re enjoying it, its that being miserable like this is better than doing what you have to

 

The TV one was a very popular one and it took a few more chats to find anything else news worthy but I then started chatting to a few girls with boyfriends and spotted a new common theme.  All of the girls explain that their boyfriends always come around to help with revision because all they want to do is f***, every single day.  The bonus is that not only are they not working, and having sex, but the boyfriend will never pull them up on it and tell them to stop and go work.  One girl explained, ‘Thinking about revision immediately turns me onto a p***star I can’t keep my hands off him and as soon as we’re done and working on getting the next round going.  I genuinely think there is nothing I wouldn’t do in procrastination sex!’  The result, a happy girlfriend who can get away with weeks of procrastination with no hassle… and an equally happy boyfriend.

 

Tips: F***ing is both healthy and good for your cardio, if you are going to procrastinate then this is definitely a good one to go for with summer coming up.  But always remember, if it goes purple, stop, or it WILL fall off, and no procrastination is worth that.

 

At this point you would expect me to tell you how to combat procrastination, the 5 top tips to stop all forms of distractions.  1, Write a list of th… not happening buddy, the truth to procrastination is, you are going to do it… all the time, some days worse than others.  So the only advice you’re getting from me is focus your procrastination on something that isn’t bad for you. Whether it is calling a friend off your course pretending you are being productive to make sure that he can’t do f*** all work either, or taking your work out in the sun and closing your eyes for ‘just a moment’ because the sun is too bright on your white sheets of paper, I don’t mind! The key is to keep away from bad things… by bad things I am referring to (including but not exhaustively): Scissors, knives, lighters, lube, ebay and s** sites.  If you do that, then you will be doing OK!

Good luck in revision time BounceSIN fans, and remember, all work no play makes jack a dull boy…

-CJ

Christopher Clarke

Hey, Chris here! Welcome to BounceSIN.com. Where are you going tonight?

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