1. If success to you is finding something spectacular in the supermarket reduced section. My personal favourites being: a whole chicken on a Sunday (if this happens to you consider this moment a gift from God), and any kind of chocolate pudding. Because, come on, when has anyone ever bought a chocolate pudding and saved it for another night?
2. If you spend a high percentage of your time discussing and piecing together ‘the night before’ stories of various acquaintances, until you have formed an averagely satisfactory montage of your night before.
3. If you and your house-mates have had regular discussions to develop the soundest excuse explaining why your radiator is hanging of the wall, your toilet seat is no longer attached, or why your freezer no longer seems to provide it usual function. All excuses to deliver to your estate agent or landlord on their next dreaded visit.
4. If you know with one hundred per cent certainty that the answer to your problem, whatever it may be, lies in the beautiful depths of your bed.
5. If the main worries in your life include: sitting down on the toilet seat to the realisation that the toilet paper has ran out, and running out of cereal - because then you have nothing to eat full stop.