Facebook Mania

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Are you a member of Facebook? If you’re not, you could be classed as a psychopath.

Remember when your mum told you to be careful of strangers on the internet? Well now apparently, it’s those who avoid the internet and social networking sites that we should be wary of.

Recent research has shown that employers are increasingly wary of potential applicants who purposefully refuse to join the catastrophically popular Facebook. Apparently a person’s detailed Facebook page is used solely for evidence for their active and thriving social life; and therefore if you’re lacking a social network account you are surely sitting in your bedroom with voodoo dolls and polishing machetes.

Right?

Well, apparently this does has some truth behind it.

Mass-murderer James Holmes, who killed twelve cinema-goers last month, and also Norwegian terrorist Anders Behring Breivik both failed to catch on with social networking. In fact, their online presence is hardly traceable. As a result, their tortuous actions are seen as a direct consequence of their ‘suspicious’ online behaviour. And as normality in society is to spend hours on Facebook, the only viable excuse for anyone who doesn’t embrace social networking is craziness.

But what exactly does Facebook provide all of us regular users?

 Stability? Education? Assurance in life?

... Not exactly. ‘Psychopath’ is a strong term, but many of us have surely wasted hours procrastinating, hunting and stalking, for want of a better word, until we’re sure to be absolutely knowledgeable in our chosen stranger’s university course, favourite alcoholic beverage and hairstyle circa 2010. With Facebook mobile it’s even portable.

Yes it’s creepy, but it’s addictive. And anyone who refuses to admit guilt in the gentle crime of Facebook-stalking is plainly lying. And I’m pretty sure compulsive deceit is a major contributing factor to psychopath diagnosis.

There are 955 million Facebook users online: connecting and networking – all enjoying access into each other’s lives. But while that seems like a large proportion of the globe, statistically it leaves 85% of the world’s population suitably locked up in strait jackets, rocking backwards and forwards.

So yes, psychopaths should be avoided – obviously. But personally I think it’s rather assumptive to tar all non-Facebook users with the same brush. Speaking from experience it’s far easier to stumble upon a psychopath online than offline...

But then again; maybe that’s the plan of the crazy people: to lure us all into a false sense of Facebook security. 

Jessica Baggaley

I make the incoherent coherent through punctuation, adjectives and irony.

Website: jbwp91.wordpress.com

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