House Parties From Hell: A Word of Advice

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Anyone who has undergone the agonising pressure of hosting their own house party will know just how much of a delicate balance it takes to get things right. There are a vast number of variants to consider in pleasing the expectant faces that come bobbing into a house on one of these momentous occasions. Hang on, rewind. First and foremost is the stomach-flipping, throat-clenching question of whether anyone will actually turn up. No matter how confident the host, the first hour or two of a house party will usually be pretty tense. Consisting mainly of nervous clock-watching, drink-necking and a general feeling of ‘Oh God this was a huge mistake’, those first few hours can make or break the perfect host. Scenario number one: they will hold it together for long enough to welcome an onslaught of guests and go on to gain a reputation as an all-round party hero. Scenario number two: they will be so hammered by the time anyone arrives that their role as host will be forever unacknowledged by their party peers.

Of course, there are a number of other factors than can contribute to the dismal failure of a house party. Take, for example, the key ingredient of this social cocktail: MUSIC. This vital element of a party has got to be the first and foremost essential. There is nothing worse than a sound system failing in the midst of some good old fashioned raving; hands flailing in the air drop, violent head-bopping ceases and looks of sheer enjoyment turn to looks of savage disappointment. It is like a bucket of cold water has been thrown over the crowd as they search for the culprit, quickly descending into what can only be described as pack mentality fuelled by alcohol and narcotics. This is one situation to be avoided; these 24 hour party people want to party and party is what they will do. No matter what the cost.  Yes parties can rapidly turn from psychedelic bliss to psychotic mayhem depending on varied factors from booze supply to the loudness of the music.

So here’s a few tips to bare in mind when organising a party to stop it from turning into, to be cliché, a house party from hell:

  1. Organise well in advance for a good turn out. Don’t rely on the dregs of club nights to come rolling in at three in the morning after being kicked out of their favourite haunt. Get word out and make your party the main event.
  2. Don’t put too much pressure on the invite. The more you big your own party up the more room there is for disappointment. Be mysterious – curiosity is the name of the game to get people flocking in.
  3. Use your noggin and rely on your contacts, and contacts’ contacts, and contacts’ contacts’ … you get the picture. Someone will know a DJ with the essential equipment for a successful party. Do not presume your docking station will be ample volume for more than about six or seven people: this does not constitute a house party.
  4. And finally, make sure your party does what it says one the tin: there’s no use telling people booze is provided and then flaking out last minute. Not to sound like the stereotypical 20-something year old, but no one likes a sober soirée.

Of course these are merely guidelines, the key is to be relaxed: no one likes a stressed out host. With these parting words of wisdom, there is but one thing left to say. Happy partying! 

India Johnson

I have a degree in English from Leeds Uni and love to write. I like music, pretty words, films (especially French films) and books (especially American lit).


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